Building Wealth in Medicine… and Protecting It in Divorce: A Financial Strategy for Physicians

Inspired by insights from The Worthy Physician podcast featuring Dr. Sapna Shah-Haque and Rocky Lavani.

“The problem is not that you are not earning enough, it’s how you are allocating what you earn.”— Rocky Lavani, The Worthy Physician podcast

The Part Nobody Talks About

Most people look at doctors and assume you are set for life.

“They are loaded.”

“They will be fine in a divorce.”

I wish it were that simple.

Because here is what I have seen over and over again as a divorce financial strategist specializing in physician divorce financial planning:

Even high-earning doctors can end up feeling strapped when divorce comes knocking, and lifestyle creep is often the silent reason why.

How Lifestyle Creep Sneaks Up on You

It is easy to fall into.

You have worked for years on a resident’s salary. You have put off so many things while training, sacrificing time, sleep, and sometimes your health.

Then your attending income finally kicks in, and it feels amazing.

Naturally, you want to:

• Buy a better home in a safer neighborhood

• Drive a car that does not feel like it is about to fall apart

• Enroll your kids in private school

• Travel somewhere that makes you feel alive again

  
  

Each of those choices is completely understandable.

But together, they can quietly build a lifestyle that eats up every dollar coming in, and then some.

Why Divorce Shines a Harsh Light on Lifestyle

Here is the part that blindsides so many physicians:

Divorce turns your private lifestyle choices into legal evidence. Suddenly:

• Two households need funding instead of one

• Historical spending becomes the baseline courts use to calculate support

• Luxuries you thought were sustainable become financial landmines

  
  

I have worked with physicians who felt rock-solid… until divorce exposed just how stretched their finances were.

And courts? They do not care about your intentions. They look at what you have been spending.

The bigger your lifestyle, the bigger your potential support obligations.

A Real-Life Story: Lifestyle Analysis and a New Beginning

Let me tell you about a physician who came to me four years into his divorce process.

He was worn down, financially and emotionally.

We had to dig into his numbers because he needed a lifestyle analysis for support calculations. And I will never forget how embarrassed he was about his spending.

He said to me: “I know I have to change how I am living. This is not going to work, for me, or for anyone else.”

So we rolled up our sleeves. We went line by line through his expenses. We talked candidly about where he could restructure spending without feeling like he was giving up his entire way of life.

It was not easy. But here is what I want every physician to know:

Divorce does not have to destroy your wealth. With the right plan, you can reclaim your future.

That doctor did. He is in a far better place today, both financially and emotionally.

The Emotional Side No One Warns You About

Lifestyle creep does not just mess with your bank account. It messes with your pride. Your sense of identity.

I have had doctors look me in the eye and quietly admit:

• “I have been spending too much, and I am embarrassed to say it.”

• “I am not sure I can keep up with my obligations if this divorce happens.”

• “I do not know how to downsize without feeling like I failed.”

  
  

And as Dr. Sapna Shah-Haque said so beautifully on The Worthy Physician podcast:

“Numbers don’t need compassion, but people do.”

Divorce is more than spreadsheets and numbers. It is raw, personal, and it can leave even the strongest physician feeling overwhelmed.

Creating a Financial Strategy for Physicians means recognizing risks like lifestyle creep and understanding how divorce can affect long-term wealth.

How to Protect Yourself Before—or During—Divorce

Here is the good news: Lifestyle creep does not have to ruin your future.

Here is how you can start protecting yourself right now:

Know Exactly Where Your Money Goes

Do not guess.

Pull your statements. Track your spending. Know how much is fixed (mortgage, loans) and how much is flexible (travel, dining out).

Why it matters: You cannot negotiate or plan for a future you cannot see clearly.

Run Divorce Scenarios

Work with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® like me to model what life might look like after divorce.

We can look at:

• Your income and expenses if you are on your own

• How much support you might pay or receive

• What kind of lifestyle fits a single-income household

  
  

Why it matters: It is always better to plan than panic.

Talk About Money—Even If It Feels Uncomfortable

In medicine, money is often a taboo topic. I get it. But silence can cost you dearly in divorce.

Why it matters: The earlier you understand your finances, the more choices you will have.

Understanding lifestyle creep is just the beginning. The silence around money in medicine creates even deeper blindspots that most physicians never see coming. In my next blog, "Physician Divorce Financial Planning: Breaking the Money Silence That Costs Doctors Millions," I will show you why this taboo could be the most expensive mistake you make in divorce.

Adjust Your Expectations

Sometimes, keeping the same lifestyle after divorce simply is not realistic, or healthy.

Why it matters: Shifting your mindset can protect your wealth and your emotional well-being.

Keep Cash Flow Flexible

Be cautious about locking money into new investments or major expenses right now.

Why it matters: Divorce brings surprises. Cash on hand is your safety net.

You Deserve Clarity and Compassion

Doctors spend their careers saving others.

But when divorce happens, you deserve someone who is in your corner, without judgment, without sales pitches, and with complete clarity about your future.

Lifestyle creep does not have to be your downfall.

With the right strategy, divorce can protect your wealth instead of destroying it.

If you are a physician worried about lifestyle costs during divorce, or you simply want to see where you stand financially, let’s talk.

Together, we can protect everything you have worked so hard to build.

By Gabriella E. Martinelli, Divorce Financial Strategist.

About me: I am the founder at Ever After Wealth® and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Certified Divorce Specialist® as well as a Nationally Certified Mediation Professional®

To learn more about our firm, visit our website www.everafterwealth.com  or reach out to me directly at gabriella@everafterwealth.com.

Disclaimer-- To prevent any potential conflict of interest, Gabriella neither manages assets nor offers investment advice. She does not engage in selling financial products and operates solely as a consultant.

 Listen to the full conversation that inspired this blog:

Building Wealth in Medicine – The Worthy Physician Podcast on YouTube