Divorce is one of the most emotionally and financially challenging experiences a person can go through. For those with complex financial situations, the stakes are even higher. It’s critical to have the right team of professionals to support you through it. Unfortunately, decisions made early on—whether out of trust or limited guidance—can lead to regrets down the road.
I recently heard from someone who found herself in exactly that position. Her story is a powerful reminder of how important it is to advocate for yourself and trust your instincts when navigating your divorce.
Her Story
Two years ago, this woman reached out to me at the beginning of her divorce. She had a clear understanding of how complicated her financial situation was. There were signs of hidden assets, concerning financial activity, and an overall complexity that required deep analysis and strategic planning.
She knew she needed a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®), and she wanted to hire me. She recognized the value of having someone who could thoroughly analyze her finances and advocate for her throughout the process.
But when she consulted with her attorney, she was told it wasn’t necessary. “We’ll handle the financials,” the attorney reassured her. Trusting the professional’s advice, she decided not to move forward with me.
Fast forward two years. The first attorney, unable to handle the complexities of her case, referred her to another attorney. The second attorney repeatedly emphasized how "unusual and complex" her case was. They insisted they had never seen anything like it—which, from my perspective, is always a red flag. I’ve worked with many complex cases, and when a professional claims they’ve never encountered a situation like yours, it often signals that they are out of their depth.
In the meantime, she hired someone she believed was a CDFA®, expecting a thorough financial analysis. Unfortunately, what she received was far from what she needed. Instead of a deep investigation into hidden assets or a detailed analysis of financial activity, she was handed a generic report. No strategic support. No real advocacy. Just surface-level information that left her vulnerable and without answers.
Now, she’s out of money. A dependent spouse who was cut off financially, she tried to trust professionals she thought had her best interest at heart. And now, two years later, she regrets not hiring me back then. But it’s too late. She no longer has the financial resources to afford the help she desperately needs.
What makes it worst? Nothing significant has happened in her case during these two years. From my experience, that’s often a window where assets conveniently disappear, financial activity is buried, and the opportunity to build a strong case is lost.
What You Can Take Away from Her Story
Here’s the hard truth: She feels guilty now, but she was only following the advice of her attorney. It’s natural to rely on the guidance of trusted professionals. But at the end of the day, this is your life. The decisions you make during this process are far too important to rely solely on one professional’s advice.
1. Build the Right Team Divorce is too complex for one professional to meet every need. While attorneys play a crucial role, their expertise is typically legal—not deep financial analysis. Working with a team that includes CDFAs®, divorce coaches, and therapists ensures you’re fully supported—emotionally, legally, and financially.
2. Advocate for Yourself Advocating for yourself is crucial. If you feel something is missing—whether it’s a CDFA®, a divorce coach, or another professional—listen to that instinct. Take personal responsibility for the choices you make during this process, because no one cares about your life and future more than you do.
3. Collaboration Makes Clients Stronger The best outcomes happen when professionals collaborate and recognize their limits. Attorneys who are humble enough to embrace the expertise of other professionals empower their clients to make stronger, more informed decisions. No single expert can do it all, and that’s okay.
Take Action
If you’re going through a divorce, remember that you are your own best advocate. Build a team that supports your unique needs, ask questions, and trust yourself. Even if the process feels overwhelming, it’s never too late to take control. Every decision you make—every step you take—moves you closer to a more secure and fulfilling future. There is always hope. With the right support, you can create the next chapter of your life on your terms.
If you’re facing a divorce or already in the process, don’t wait until it’s too late. Reach out for the right support. Whether you need a financial advocate, a divorce coach, or a therapist, assembling the right team can make all the difference. If you think I can help, let’s start a conversation. Together, we’ll create a strategy that empowers you to move forward with confidence and clarity.
A Note for Divorce Professionals
As divorce professionals, we owe it to our clients to recognize when they need more than just our expertise. Collaboration isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a strength. It ensures our clients feel supported and confident in their decisions. The goal should always be the client’s well-being, even if that means bringing in outside help.
By Gabriella E. Martinelli, Divorce Financial Strategist.
More about me: I am the founder at Ever After Wealth®, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Certified Divorce Specialist® as well as a Nationally Certified Mediation Professional®
To learn more about our firm, visit our website www.everafterwealth.com or reach out to me directly at gabriella@everafterwealth.com.
Disclaimer-- To avoid any conflict of interest, Gabriella does not manage assets nor provide investment advice. She does not sell financial products. She works strictly as a consultant.
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