11 Phrases That Can Sabotage Your Divorce Strategy (Especially in High-Networth Cases)
- Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA® CDS® NCMP®
- May 20
- 3 min read
These Phrases May Sound Harmless, But They Can Cost You Everything.
After over two decades of working in the divorce space, I can tell you this with confidence: Some of the most financially damaging decisions in divorce do not happen in court. They happen quietly, in moments of emotional overwhelm when judgment is clouded, fear sets in, or the desire to "just move on" overrides careful planning.
These phrases often go unchallenged, but they carry very real consequences, especially in high-net-worth divorces or when a business is involved.
If you or someone you care about is navigating divorce, here are 11 phrases to be wary of, and the real risks behind them.
1. "You do not need an attorney, we can do this just us."
Why it is dangerous: Even in an amicable split, divorce has legal consequences. Without legal counsel, you may overlook rights, tax implications, or long-term obligations that surface years later.
2. "I do not need a CDFA®, I run a successful business, I am smart."
Why it is dangerous: Divorce requires a different kind of financial expertise. Business success does not automatically translate to divorce strategy. CDFAs are trained to uncover risks, model outcomes, and help ensure both your personal and business finances are protected.
3. "You do not need a CDFA®, I can do what they do." (From your attorney)
Why it is dangerous: Attorneys offer legal expertise, but that does not replace financial strategy. They do not model future financial outcomes, analyze tax consequences, or specialize in asset division. It is not the same, and that difference matters.
4. "I am afraid he/she will get mad if I ask for documents."
Why it is dangerous: Fear leads to a lack of transparency. Without complete financial documentation, you are negotiating in the dark. That is never in your best interest.
5. "You do not need a CDFA®, a partner in my firm knows all about finances." (From your attorney)
Why it is dangerous: Financial literacy is not the same as divorce-specific financial strategy. Attorneys keep up with legal updates, but most do not follow changes in tax law, valuation standards, or strategic modeling. A CDFA® fills that gap.
6. "He wants to be fair."
Why it is dangerous: Good intentions do not guarantee equitable outcomes. Fairness should not be assumed, it should be analyzed and confirmed with data.
7. "We already agreed on everything."
Why it is dangerous: Verbal agreements are not binding and often miss critical details. Without review and strategy, those agreements may be built on misunderstandings or incomplete financial pictures.
8. "I just want to get it over with."
Why it is dangerous: Fatigue and emotional exhaustion are real, but rushing can lead to lifelong consequences. Slowing down allows you to protect what you have worked so hard to build.
9. "You cannot afford a CDFA®." (From your attorney)
Why it is dangerous: This is one of the most misleading phrases out there. A CDFA® is often the very person who will help you avoid long-term financial mistakes. Most attorneys do not lower their fees, yet they advise against hiring the expert who protects your wealth. The truth is, you cannot afford not to have this level of support.
10. "I do not want to rock the boat."
Why it is dangerous: Staying silent to keep the peace often results in giving up too much. Advocating for yourself is not creating conflict, it is creating clarity.
11. "It is just money."
Why it is dangerous: That money represents your future, your ability to retire, support your children, or start over. Dismissing it out of guilt or fatigue can have a lasting impact.
If any of these phrases sound familiar, take a breath. You are not behind, but you do need to pause and protect your next step.
Divorce is not just a legal process. It is a financial turning point. Whether you are navigating a high-asset divorce, protecting your business, or simply trying to move forward wisely, you deserve clarity, strategy, and support.
If you need help, I am here.
By Gabriella E. Martinelli, Divorce Financial Strategist.
About me: I am the founder at Ever After Wealth® and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Certified Divorce Specialist® as well as a Nationally Certified Mediation Professional®
To learn more about our firm, visit our website www.everafterwealth.com or reach out to me directly at gabriella@everafterwealth.com.
Disclaimer-- To prevent any potential conflict of interest, Gabriella neither manages assets nor offers investment advice. She does not engage in selling financial products and operates solely as a consultant.
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