The Ethical Crisis in Divorce Financial Planning: When CDFA® Work Becomes a Sales Pitch
- Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA® CDS® NCMP®
- Apr 24
- 5 min read
In the past couple of days, I have been told by three different financial advisors that they do CDFA® work with one goal: to acquire assets.
Let that sink in.
This is not new but it is becoming more frequent, and more blatant. And it is time we talk about it.
As a CDFA® who has worked for over two decades in the legal and financial aspects of divorce, I did not take on this designation to build a book of business. I became a CDFA® to provide strategic, conflict-free financial clarity for individuals going through one of the most overwhelming, high-stakes chapters of their lives.
But not everyone in this space shares that same mission.
The Pressure to Conform
When I first earned my CDFA® designation, I felt torn. Several broker-dealers were recruiting me, promising that I could help divorcing clients while also managing their assets. One firm in particular seriously piqued my interest. I was invited to a strategy meeting about joining their team. Another advisor was there, she had just earned her CDFA® designation as well.
At first, I was excited. I thought it would be great to work alongside another CDFA® and build something collaborative.
But as the meeting unfolded, it became painfully clear: the primary focus was not strategy, support, or education — it was assets under management. I spoke up and shared my background in the legal side of divorce and why I became a CDFA®, to offer genuine divorce financial expertise. Her response?
“You can do this on your own. Why are you coming here?”
That moment was a turning point. It hit me, what I do, and what many advisors think this work is, are fundamentally different. And when you blend the roles of financial advisor and divorce strategist, it does not just blur the line, it crosses it.
That conversation made something clear: I was not here to collect assets. I was here to serve people during one of the hardest transitions of their lives, with no strings attached. That is when I made the decision to let go of my financial licenses. I walked away from investment management entirely to protect the integrity of my work, and to make sure my clients would never have to question where my loyalty lies.
Years later, I ran into that same advisor. She asked if I was still "just doing divorce financial planning." I said yes. She raised an eyebrow and said:
“Wow, you are leaving a lot of money on the table.”
And in that moment, I knew I had made the right choice.
Divorce Is Not a Sales Funnel
Another woman came to me, referred by her attorney. She was hesitant, not about my expertise, but about my fees. She told me, "All you offer is divorce financial planning." Later, she asked for another call to let me know she found another CDFA® who charged less and would manage her investments afterward.
I took the time to explain what she was really being offered. She was being drawn into a financial advisor’s pipeline. It was not real divorce strategy, it was a lengthy prospecting activity.
A few months later, she came back. Why? Because she was not getting the support she needed. She realized what she was missing, and what true, conflict-free strategy actually looks like.
When the Agenda is Hidden
Then there was the time I worked on a case where another advisor, who also had the CDFA® designation, was quietly working behind the scenes to control the client’s direction. They were not collaborating. They were steering. There was subtle undermining, holding back data, redirecting conversations, creating confusion for the client. It was not about clarity or empowerment. It was about preserving the path to manage the money.
In those moments, it becomes clear, the client is not the priority. The relationship is transactional. And that is not only unethical, it is dangerous.
The Client Who Did Not Know What She Did not Know
Another client was referred to me after she had already been working with an advisor who claimed to be doing CDFA® work. What I found was shocking: missing documents, biased analysis, and advice that leaned heavily toward preserving investable assets not creating a balanced settlement.
She was overwhelmed, confused, and doubting her own instincts. When we rebuilt her strategy from scratch, she said something I will never forget: “I thought that was what divorce planning was supposed to be.”
It was not her fault. The system is confusing. The roles are blurred. And without transparency, clients do not know what to ask for or what to protect themselves from.
This Is Not the Work
When you are dealing with clients in crisis, scared, confused, facing courtrooms and financial uncertainty, your job is not to sell. Your job is to bring clarity, structure, and unbiased guidance.
What is happening now undermines that.
Advisors using the CDFA® designation as a way to capture assets are not just misrepresenting the role, they are damaging trust in the entire profession. And more importantly, they are putting their own interests ahead of their client’s most critical financial decisions.
This is not the work.
Where We Go From Here
I am not saying advisors should not be part of the divorce process, they can play a valuable role. But strategy and investment management are not the same thing.
If you are offering CDFA® services, you should be transparent. If your intention is to manage assets, say so. If you are not experienced in the legal nuances of divorce or how settlements actually impact long-term outcomes, refer to someone who is.
Because divorce financial planning is not a gateway to a portfolio. It is a responsibility.
To every CDFA®, attorney, and professional doing this work with integrity: I see you.
Let us keep setting the standard and calling out what does not belong in this space. We owe it to those going through such a life-altering event to raise the bar, not lower it. They deserve clear, ethical guidance and advocacy not conflicted advice disguised as strategy.
By Gabriella E. Martinelli, Divorce Financial Strategist.
About me: I am the founder at Ever After Wealth® and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Certified Divorce Specialist® as well as a Nationally Certified Mediation Professional®
To learn more about our firm, visit our website www.everafterwealth.com or reach out to me directly at gabriella@everafterwealth.com.
Disclaimer-- To prevent any potential conflict of interest, Gabriella neither manages assets nor offers investment advice. She does not engage in selling financial products and operates solely as a consultant.
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